CHASE ONE RECORD. OUTRUN THE OTHER.
Hire a coach with a past. Draft real players with real fantasy stats — and very real rap sheets. Go 17-0 in the league where winning is all that matters.
Your Roster
one pick per roll · CUT to re-openNow drafting: QB
The Lineup Room
The Tip Jar — Placeholder
This game is free, the lawyers were not. If a Season Obituary ever makes you exhale through your nose, the jar will be right here. (Tip-jar integration drops in once the coding's done.)
The Files
Every dossier in the overlay database — players and coaches. These flags ride on top of the real stats archive: when a flagged name appears on a rolled roster, his scandal score feeds the season engine — intimidation, volatility, and the obituary. Grave matters get facts only; the jokes live elsewhere in the app.
The Season
Seventeen games. Era ratings set the floor, scandal points add a weekly intimidation bonus and weekly volatility, your coach nudges the math — and the verdict is final. No appeals. No re-runs. The league does not negotiate.
How To Play
Build a roster capable of a perfect season from the most talented, most troubled names in football history.
1 · The Roster — 8 picks
HC · ENF · QB · 2 RB · 2 WR · TE. The coach comes first — winning is all that matters, and the hire sets the tone. The Enforcer brings pure intimidation and no fantasy stats. Then six skill slots, filled however you like.
2 · The Roll
Rounds 1–2 deal 6 candidates from anywhere in history (one free re-interview each). Rounds 3–8 each roll a real NFL team + season (1999–2025): the full roster loads with real stats, pre-1999 All-Time Scandal Greats ride along, and you draft one player per roll into any open slot. One Team skip and one Season skip per game.
3 · The Numbers
FPPG — real PPR fantasy points per game from that exact season. ERA (0–100) — that FPPG ranked against every player at his position that same season, so every era competes fairly. SCANDAL PTS (0–250) — the documented record, college included, scored below. Allegations are never scored as convictions.
| Tier | What counts | Points |
|---|---|---|
| T5 — The Felony | Felony conviction, guilty plea, or no-contest plea | 50 |
| T4 — The Misdemeanor | Misdemeanor conviction, plea, or completed diversion | 30 |
| T3 — The Charge | Charges dropped, dismissed or acquitted; civil suits and settlements; investigations without charges | 18 |
| T2 — The Suspension | League, club, or NCAA suspension or deactivation; major fines | 12 |
| T1 — The Vibes | The Diva File: documented sideline meltdowns, trade-demand theater, locker-room mutiny, infamous quotes — on-the-record events only | 5 |
Repeat Offender: 3+ incidents → ×1.25. Gravity: documented incarceration adds +10 to +50; cases involving a death carry the maximum +70. That's why one life sentence outranks a decade of misdemeanors.
4 · The Season
Seventeen weeks, auto-run the instant your roster completes. ERA sets each starter's output, team SCANDAL adds an intimidation bonus — and volatility: flagged players can vanish for a week or play angry for a +35% boom. The coach nudges the math; he cannot save you. Opponents strengthen weekly. The verdict is final: one season per roster, no appeals, no re-runs. Grades run S — "GOAT, Allegedly 🐐" (17-0 with a serious team rap sheet) — down to F, the Toilet Bowl 💩, each with a personalized Season Obituary naming names.
5 · Hall of Perfection — builds that can run the table
THE CLEAN GETAWAY — HC Reid · ENF Ray Lewis · '07 Brady · '03 Priest Holmes · '06 LaDainian Tomlinson · '02 Marvin Harrison · '19 Michael Thomas · '11 Gronkowski. Minimal priors, maximum floor. The obituary will complain it has nothing to work with.
THE SYNDICATE — HC Payton · ENF Suh · '10 Vick · '12 Peterson · '16 Elliott · '07 Moss · '15 Antonio Brown · '20 Waller. Every starter has a file. The ceiling is 17-0; the floor is a group photo you can't unsee.
THE HUNG JURY — HC Tomlin · ENF Von Miller · '07 Roethlisberger · '09 Chris Johnson · '06 Steven Jackson · '14 OBJ · '03 Torry Holt · '04 Gates. Half saints, half subpoenas. Balance the variance, sleep at night, mostly.